Today me and my dear friends were having a conversation and somehow we ended up talking about dreams. Wait a minute!! when was the last time I had one? Yesterday? or day before that? or before that? Its been quite some time. Why would that be?Is it that am too content with whatever is happening around me ? or is it that I no longer deserve to dream? Seems like am over emphasising dreams. Can't blame. I have been living by my dreams. I doubt if that is true. The touch of a cold dead body is haunting. Yes it is. An irrelevant statement isn't it? That is how I happen to be. I don't know the measure of its relevancy but all I know is that it had to be written off. So that I can let my mind surf some other channel with pleasantries. Talking about pleasantries, I remember a friend of mine, who used to tell me "I can see butterflies". I need to see some too. Its been quite some time. Just the other day this friend of mine who happened to go through my blog felt that I was getting psyched out. He believed that I have lost it and needs some serious counseling. Well, that's exactly where my unpredictability comes in. It's a task herculean. Or maybe even Zeusean. It's not depression or familiar, it's mere words. Mere vent out. ready get set release.Am relieved.

When do you say something is nothing but mere coincidence? Is there a number of times that comes in as a threshold? Or is it that you don't want to think that there could be more to it and hence out of cowardice pass it off as being coincidental? But I chose to brave on to the other side. I always feel that whatever happens around us is all a well planned scenario. Nothing happens for the sake of it. Every single thing around us is there because its meant to be there. It's the nature's way of interacting with us. Just the other day, I was walking on a footpath and all of a sudden I see a flower fall down in my trajectory. It was meant for me! I pickd it up! And waited for it to tell me something. Probably there was something that it wantd to convey. What could it be? When I get no reply, I throw it away. At least I gave it a chance. At least I lent an ear. These are for me nothing but messengers of nature which keep coming to me in some form or the other. Maybe they are trying to help me out with any of my problems. Maybe they are trying to tell me something. Or maybe they need help. Maybe. At times I often question our existence. Iam not referring to why we exist.I doubt if we exist at all. Are we the negative space?(read:designerly jargons). Is it that the surrounding is the one that is alive and not us. Maybe we are in a world where we are the secondary beings. We are in a world dominated by surroundings and space. It might sound weird or senseless. But believe me, once you start thinking on this line, you will realise the crux of it.
Am glad that finally I have started getting serious. Don't you agree? Yes am talking to you. Don't you agree that the seriousness reading has gone up by some bits in this post? Maybe.

Its race time. Tears and fingertips, the contendors. Seeems like tears win again. Invincible. Everytime I think of her, I seem to be calling for tears. The stupidity behind my obsession could be the trigger. The very fact of basing my life on an unaware future sounds preposterous. But that gives me a reason to hope. And that is how my life inches ahead. Am moving ahead at my own speed. I don't care where the world is heading to. I don't care how fast the people around me are moving. Dreams want to show me a glimpse of her, but somehow I discourage it. At times I speak my heart into the blowing wind with the hope that she will someday hear my heart. I have looked in the mirror and cried. Then I burst into laughter and cry again. Even now when am writing about her, I feel my heart missing so many beats. Well if this goes on, I might end up dead. Is it anxiety or is it love? I know not. But if destiny lands us together, I will be the happiest soul on earth. I so wish if destiny was corrupt. I would have bribed my way. Alas...as for now my life has a sense of waiting room. Next.